Let’s try something. Blink. Now take a look at the letter “o”. Look into the middle of the letter and blink. Repeat that same thing for any of the previous a’s, p’s, and g’s in this sentence. Rub your thumb against the side of your index finger. Look at the corner of whatever device you’re reading this on and blink again. Kind of a pain, huh?
This all may seem strange because it is. But for me, this is my normal. At the beginning of the year I began to notice some odd things going on in my head. I’d backtrack on sentences while reading books in order to blink at certain letters until my brain felt soothed. Don't even get me started on reading my Twitter feed. I’d started finding corners within the regular world, like door jams or pillow corners, and blink at them. I'd form triangles within these natural corners in my head. I began rubbing my fingers together and against my chest when I felt stressed, and especially during runs to distract my brain. These are my OCD rituals, and this is the story of finding my remedy.
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August 2019
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